stilted story

have i already said this? i can’t remember…
my grandad’s grandad was a Welsh Baptist
my grandad was a druid
me? well…
when i was growin up i thought i was a Pagan, the countryside belief, but which one?
i thought of Thor, Bel, Beli-mawr, Manawydan, Clothos and Atropos. Woden and Odinn, Frey n Freya and Frigg. (Odinn the original trickster, father of Loki who is his father’s son)
but none of them claimed originality, Odinn learned runes by hanging upside down from Yggdrasil, the resultant faint headedness showed him patterns on the ground that became runes, if you believe it 🙂
i was told i was CofE because we’re English, but i consider myself to be British or just plain old Human Earthling 🙂
life moves on.
the year my lil brat was born, i was cycling over thirty miles a day, the cash machine n supermarket was 10 miles away, my weed man was 15miles away.
anyway, one day in winter…i was cycling to a supermarket, uphill n down dale,
feeling sad because i wasn’t spending time with Floyd nor my mother-to-be.
the wind was fighting me at every step, even going downhill i felt the wind almost stop me.
i told myself it’s only ten miles, less than an hour of pain, the wind will help me homewards.
i did the shopping n hopped back on the bike, half a weeks food n dogfood on my back to find the wind still in my face. Bastard.
halfway home, enough was enough.
i fell off the bike by a layby, jumped over the hedge for a piss n spoke with God. Okay i was a bit sweary hehehe, fukkin ell God whadaya want of me?!?! stuff like that. 🙂
i made a deal with him; stop this wind and i’ll read one of ya books!
the bloody wind stopped. what do ya do? i pedalled home before it picked back up.
over the next month or so i re-read the bible, old n new testaments, it was hard work.
astrology isn’t advised but the three wise men followed a star 😉
the freewill of the Pharoah was hampered several times by a hardening of his heart.
i don’t wanna remember all the disagreements i found, there were some very good points like growing faith on nettles, stony ground or ripe soil 🙂 Saul becoming Paul etc.
but it wasn’t for me so i told God, i’ve tried, i’ve read ya book. i’ve kept my promise.
within a month, i’d moved area, everything was within a mile 🙂 cycling became fun again 🙂
walking through town, a stranger with a shaven head spoke with me.
he seemed to be explaining everything i couldn’t understand. i understood.
from that moment on i was hooked on learning more.
i bought £20 books for a pound each from him, i stole a book from the library.
it doesn’t matter if you judge me, i judge myself a lot harder than most do of me.
(edited)
what i learnt is plain to see within my spiritual poetry.

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2 thoughts on “stilted story”

  1. Sometimes I wonder if Im plain stubborn or God speaks lingo I dont get, but moments like that.. You know, life-changing ones, dont happen to me.
    Maybe im just too sceptical about that, i dont know.
    But im in awe to see people like you that actually reach that level.
    Big smiles your way.

    1. thank you 🙂
      scepticism is healthy, it’s all about asking questions n questioning the answers hehehe i love asking questions.
      no matter my thoughts, i’ve always believed in Something, even in my most material moments.
      problem is that i hate being told how to think so i understand the Books in my own idiosyncratic way 🙂
      some of my friends think it’s strange that i think of krishna, he isn’t English (as if jesus Is) lmao 🙂

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