a free lesson in counselling

when i was young(er), my mum had really sensible advice and my step dad made me think.
my stepdad would say stuff like “if you become a copper i will disown you, even if you murder someone, you might have reason to, but never become a copper.”
“tattoos are disgusting. don’t try drugs, they’re for (rascist word).” as he got more and more drunk on Skol beer and scottish whiskies.
he let us watch horror films and kung fu.
in robocop there is a rape scene where robo shoots between the victims thighs, catching the perp in his ghoulies, my ol man said, “there’s no point in rape, even if you can’t get a willing woman for free, there’s alot of women that will for money.”
those films are still considered monumental.
(snake in eagle shadow, way of the dragon, kiss of death, drunken master etc)
and subjected us to Elvis, Jim Reeves and Iron Maiden (Up The Irons)
he came from a strange Scottish family where they sold each other if food was scarce. i remember hearing the stories of him and his brothers and was glad not to be born as one of them.
he also instilled me with fear of his calm wrath. but i’m not talking bout that.
although…his sarcasm meant i never knew whether he was serious or not.
i spoke with my mum about my childhood recently and she was sad to hear how i remember it.
apparently he would be strict but then give my mum a wink to say that he wasn’t being serious.
my mum, i love her to bits, she’s manic depressive and has a hard time with us three bastard children.
when he left, i was a teen and really became naughty, semi independence.
my poor mum, i’m the eldest, setting a benchmark for my younger brothers to follow in my wake, skiving, stealing (my real dad prides himself on being the best thief he knows of), smoking etc.
the truancy officer phoned home while i was eating breakfast, if i don’t go to school, they will press charges on my mum.
i’d been forewarned so replied that if they take my mum to court, i will runaway, therefore they would be responsible for my disappearance. it worked. 🙂 i didn’t go back to school until i was 30 for basic qualifications that i could have took when i was a teen lol.
anyway i keep meandering.
i remember her dad was a copper at various times.
i was watching a program with my mum once about America. i don’t wanna stereotype but this post is about memories so here goes…
it seemed that everyone in USA has a shrink, or quack, or therapist, so i told mum my thought, she agreed saying that maybe they haven’t got good friends to listen to them, or family for that matter.
i still agree with that to an extent.
don’t forget she is Manic depressive (is that bi-polar?)
she hasn’t got a shrink, has tried to kill herself more than once, been in battered wives home etc yet still, why pay to talk?
as we were growing older, our house became a free for all, we were smoking weed in the privacy of our home, with our friends, some parents objected so their kids had to smoke outside in the rain lol.
at least my mum knew where her kids were. and we weren’t vandalising the village.
some of the kids had their own mental problems as we all do and they couldn’t cope so went to the ‘funny farm’ for a bit.
on their release they would come and see us lads to catch up on old times.
not long after this, a lady bumped into my mum by the local shops,
“hello are you mrs ‘brown’?
“yes, i hope my kids haven’t upset you?”
“oh no, quite the opposite, i jus wanna say thank you, ever since my ‘Ben’ has been visiting your house, he seems to have calmed down”
my mum smiled knowing who he is and why.
not because he was stoned, most kids can argue with their parents while under the influence.
it was because while we were getting stoned, my mum was brainwashing us with her life experiences, which pale our own into insignificance, as we got older we understood her memories in a more considerate way, meaning the teen boys n girls appreciating their own parents a bit more.
my brothers were imprisoned for kidnap a fair few years ago and my mum was called as witness to say who was in our house.
she said she didn’t know but when she came back down stairs, the house was empty of teens.
the prosecutor demanded to know why she didn’t know who was in the house.
my mum explained that she had finished a long shift and jus wanted some bath and sleep, as she entered the house she basically told everyone to fukk off, it doesn’t matter who was there, they soon left.
us kids haven’t always respected my mum, but our friends did, and do still.
i wasn’t alowwed to swear til i was sixteen, i would get a hiding which my friends laughed about, but they always minded their Ps and Qs around my mum.
i wasn’t allowed out after ten until i was sixteen, a good friend pleaded with my mum once and she relinquished, knowing he can handle himself, respect goes both ways in life.
fukk, i’ve probably typed too much, that’s the problem with memories, i’ve got 30 odd years worth to bore you with 😉


2 thoughts on “a free lesson in counselling”

  1. Bore away! You dont realise how interesting we find those stories to be! (Im a bit jaw-dropped here at some parts, but in a good way).
    You share the most private things and it leaves me smiling..

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