while i didn’t pay the bills

i stopped paying my bills so that i could save for something i want.
the only thing that hurt was goin’ without internet for so long.
i found that i had to visit friends a bit more than normal, which is cool because i don’t visit people enough.
but
being a single dad living miles away from most sensible friends and family means i’m usually trapped at home of an evening, lonesome.
i didn’t realise i was lonesome until the internet and outgoing calls were blocked.
it meant no facebook, no porn, no youtube, no WordPress to read, nor being able to publish poetry if i write it.
so do you know what i did?
ye, ok, i watched telly a little but the stuff that i watch, mainly science and religious stuff, is getting a bit ‘repeatey’. there is only so many times i can listen to Michiu Kaku tell semi thoughtful people how he made an atom smasher as a teen and how we are all gonna be able to afford contact lens smart devices in the next ten years. (when i watch gadget shows, i know that i won’t touch those items until they are almost obsolete.)
so i started listening to music. not youtube as is my wont, but rather that almost obsolete bit of wizardry; the humble CD. and i started reading novels again.
i thought i’d grown bored of long story lines but found myself proven wrong.
Cell by Stephen King was fairly good, jus know that i would survive because i don’t currently own a mobile phone 🙂
the Dean Koontz book was ok but not his best by a long way.
Bernard Cornwell excelled himself as usual and i’m looking forward to his next instalment in the Alfred/Uhtred series.
i re-read A Clockwork Orange and could hear Malcolm McDowell’s storytelling narrative in much the same way as hearing Morgan Freeman’s voice while reading Rita Hayworth & The Shawshank Redemption.
considering the company that printed the version i read, there were faar too many typos.
and i re-read The Silmarillion by JRR Tolkien, that includes the tales of Beren and Luthien & The Children Of Hurin. two of the most thoughtful pieces ever written.
When the Hobbit films are finished, i hope Peter Jackson tries to make The Children Of Hurin, surely the best story Ever written, and i don’t say that lightly.
Children Of Hurin is a chapter within the tale of the Silmarills but after being expanded upon by his son Christopher Tolkien a few years back, the story is greater than the sum of it’s parts.

what if you were taken captive by a dark nightmare before the gates of his dominion? if you taunted him? would he make you watch from a high place with his eyes as your wife and children were afflicted by many tragedies, giving you a perverted viewpoint so all niceties look malign and evil mock sincerity to be taken for pity?

well, i’ve got the internet back now so my brief sojourn into the world of bound books is to be put on hold again. at least until the next time i choose not to pay the bills 🙂

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15 thoughts on “while i didn’t pay the bills”

  1. It’s such a double-edged sword, really. I will be the first person to admit that I damn sure like the internet. Sometimes I find myself wistful for the days when hardbound books were all we really had for entertainment. Sometimes, I think life was more fun, more insightful, and all around more simple back before the internet became “standard” for civilized living. I’m wistful for that… but then I can never quite shut myself away from the net for too very long. I think they call this addiction…

    1. yup, the internet is like a malevolent djinn, force feeding us our desires for knowledge, stuffing our gullets with ideas like geese with fois-grois, all the time telling us we ‘love it’ like a sweaty fat bastard fucking a prostitute.
      after the first sleepless nights of worrying bout emails etc, the old life of books and fun come flooding back and the perverted Djinn goes back to his grimy lamp (i turned the modem off so he couldn’t sneak off) 🙂

      1. You know, it is true that it’s so very appealing to have such a wealth of knowledge at our fingertips. But if I’m honest with myself, I find that my creativity (both in writing and in painting) is greatly hindered by my use of the internet. When I find myself inspired, I go create, but after just a short amount of time, I find that I’m right back on the internet. And let me point out, it has NOT been helpful to my womanly figure and waistline. Oooh, for shame. *hangs head*

  2. Isn’t it scary and amazing how much time being on line gobbles up. It’s like being sucked into a greedy otherworld, and its easy to lose ouch with what’s happening around us. I would say being online is anti- mindfulness, anti- presence in the world!
    How wonderful to have had the time for a good book binge instead….great escapism, and somehow more creatively nourishing 🙂

  3. I’ve lived without the internet for most of my adult life, now it’s like the hit I have to take first thing in the morning and the last thing at night. I take long walks to try to combat my addition. It helps for the most part.

  4. Hi EightL eggedGemini. I couldn’t manage without it now. Love Stephen King.I’m fond of ghost stories use to be a Paranormal investigator. Thank you for your great comment and for liking my poem ‘ Bleary Eyed!’ Best Wishes, The Foureyed Poet.

    1. hiya 🙂
      ye the internet becomes important, more so than telly or the phone ever was.
      Stephen King is cool, definitely one of my favourite novelists 🙂 especially when he breaks his mold with stories like The Long Walk.
      our British equivalent was the late James Herbert, another Master of suspense and horror with books and films such as The Rats and The Ghosts Of Sleath, which i’m about to read again 🙂
      hey, what a cool job, we have some very spooky places in Bedfordshire including Clophill Church 🙂

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