new thoughts

God is a friend
but He pisses me off.
what does He know of loss?
who am i to to question the cost?
i know the rules, he remains aloft.
the rules are simple, give up the game
of ups and downs and
pleasure and pain.
find the middle path.
it’s easy and hard.
you can’t quit whatever you never start.
we are here because we want to be.
to experience materiality in it’s entirety.
with loss comes learning.
with a lack comes yearning.
with lust there is burning.
Goodness. Passion. Ignorance.
the material modes that we know.
Eating Mating Sleeping Defending
Birth Life Death Rebirth unending.
with release comes peace, after a while at least.
a lust for life is the nature of the beast,
i am no exception, no matter what i preach.
and so, the three modes, they have me high and low.
The middle path, both light and dark but the rules are hard…
No gambling.
No intoxicating substances.
No murder (includes meat eating).
No sex unless we wish to beget God’s bless through holiness.
four little rules for misguided fools like me and you.
don’t worry, rules are made to be broken,
From a lack of Dharma may Kharma be spoken.

fragmented memory of a mushroom’s madness (new)

mushroom madness of yesterlife
come take me away
i remember your blanket of confusion.
ohh the laughs, the tears, the controlled chaos.
are you coming up yet?
“i don’t know, are you?”
i dont know, are you?
“hehehehehehehe i don’t know. why are you laughing :D”
i don’t know, but it’s funny. can you feel it?
“ye feels funny.”
i need the toilet.
“i’ll wait outside and go after, what does it feel like?”
the sensation of release is strange,
while my piss goes down, my body and mind are climbing.
aim for the middle, aim for the middle.
this lil room is getting brighter, as a swiftly rising sun.
as i exit the room i am stunned.
“don’t flush… are you ok mate?”
i sit on the stairs to soak up myself, realise who i am, am not.
how much did they put in the stew?
i’m guessing a few.
“no they put all of it in, how many carrier bags did you bring?”
two or three from me.
“she said she filled the pot, your brother had a lot.”
Liberty Caps that tapped into my brain.
cup after cup after cup
never the same again.
i was already a bit strange
but never the same again.
the bodily warmth and the emotional pain.
sensory overload as my eyes explode
hit by revelation and epiphany,
i could see what was in store for me
not literally but possibly.
they weren’t far wrong.
don’t look in the mirror lest you are revealed to yourself.
follow the creature through the caves if you are brave .
you know where you are, recognise the scars within the thin brain tissue from which you issued.
“do you know your name? Good.”
a mile of a while later…..
you gotta protect the girls
your brothers gone crazy. ”
my brother? let him in.
“no he thinks we’re all evil. pissed where he sat and stomped on your head.”
did he? my brother? he can’t have, i was following that thing through the caves.
anything is possible, many things are probable.
did you see that? oh it’s too late it’s gone now.
me? yeah i’m fine.
i’m fine…
i’m fine…
i’m fine…
who’s that on the telly? i thought we were watching The Wall?
oh, The Doors? ye it’s cool.
“You know the day destroys the night
night divides the day
try to run
try to hide
Break On Through To The Other Side.”
it’s hard to make a spliff like this.
“ye i been trying for an hour.”
heh it won’t take me an hour.
here told you i wouldn’t take long.
“did you put any weed in?”
i think so.
i’m going home, where do i live?
“you tell us so we know you’re ok.”
maybe i”ll sleep here, i’m fine.
“are you ok?
are you ok?”
ye i’m fine.

ramble in the jangle (new)

bhagavan badman i know what i am.
i jus’ wish i had the faintest plan.
some think i’m good, because they are bad.
some think i’m bad because they are good.
some think i’m crazy because it takes one to know one
or because i hide my eyes from their prying warped minds or sane brains.

i wish i had the courage of my conviction
to live my life without contradiction.

i’ll have a tin of tartan paint.”
said the sparse and spartan saint
who knew a thing or two about the blues ‘n’
this and that with a faith to match that was intact.

it’s easy being modest when we have fuck all
so wait and see when the curtain falls
who’s the clever ones and
who is the fool. only the meek will rule.
even those that have nothing have something to lose.
i call this the Ramble in the Jangle Blues.
nothing lasts forever i repeat to myself.
not in this material realm of His breath.
everyone fears getting put back on the shelf.

the shelf and yourself.

forever and ever amen.
but nothing lasts forever
if i can just believe.
wipe my dry eyes with a wet sleeve,
thankful my daughter isn’t here to see.
swings and roundabouts
what goes up must come down .
who likes to see a grown man down?
stand up and be the clown!
oh the grand family of Brown,
how they oft do like to frown,
and just as they reach for the top of the crop
they are beaten down again.

*don’t worry people, things aren’t as bad as they read. even if they are, life goes on 🙂 x

PROJECT R in session #13 EightLeggedGemini

thanks again to Vic for having faith in my writing

vic briggs


i would like to thank Vic for inviting me to share in this, a series of eight questions; and for being lenient with it’s deadline.
i’m not very good with explaining myself sometimes and so look at this as a bit of an excercise in structured thought.

          1. On Failure. What does love mean to you? What constitutes a failed relationship? What about a successful one? Did you ever think of yourself as a failure because a relationship came to an end?

A. Love Is Eternal.
i think the love we feel is merely a dirty material ripple of the Absolute Truth which is True Love.
everything moves by attraction, whether by magnetism or other means.
some relationships just aren’t meant to be.
a failed relationship is when you can’t remain friends after. i think i’m lucky enough to be on talking terms with the women that…

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