i would like to thank Vic http://shardsofsilence.wordpress.com/ for inviting me to share in this, a series of eight questions; and for being lenient with it’s deadline.
i’m not very good with explaining myself sometimes and so look at this as a bit of an excercise in structured thought.
1. On Failure. What does love mean to you? What constitutes a failed relationship? What about a successful one? Did you ever think of yourself as a failure because a relationship came to an end?
A. Love Is Eternal.
i think the love we feel is merely a dirty material ripple of the Absolute Truth which is True Love.
everything moves by attraction, whether by magnetism or other means.
some relationships just aren’t meant to be.
a failed relationship is when you can’t remain friends after. i think i’m luck enough to be on talking terms with the women that i’ve shared my time with, although some had painful endings, everything was for the best eventually.
of course when Any relationship ends, there are questions we ask of ourselves, whether it’s our fault, was there anything else we could do, was it true love?
2. On Being Flawed. Are you more comfortable on your own or in a relationship? Do you think there is something wrong with people who cannot or would not sustain long-term relationships?
A. i enjoy my own company.
my flaws have earned me respect somehow. there aren’t many people in this town who share or even understand my opinions, my friends are just happy that i’m happy 🙂
but then, while i’m not single i’m in a different frame of mind. almost as if i split myself into two time zones. the introspective me and the me that i project publicly. i wonder if i can sustain a long term relationship with a woman. i’ve gone years at a time without sharing a bed. the longest relationship i’ve had is two years.
no, there is nothing wrong with those who prefer solitude, maybe they give their love more widely thru altruistic activities etc 🙂
3. On Eros. Do you require a romantic relationship to feel fulfilled?
A. i like to think that i’m romantic; and reciprocated romance is fulfilling 🙂 but if i was single i’d say it’s not the be all and end all.
i cook and buy choccys for my woman, i remembered her birthday and bought her something she wanted and loves 🙂
relationships inspire romance, or they should if they’re to last. but apparently not all women like flowers.
4. On Soul-mates. Do you believe that there is a soul-mate for everyone out there? Do you ever feel that you are only half of the equation, and will be ‘lacking’ something until you find someone to share your everyday life with?
A. no i’m not half the equation. Love is eternal, every soul is eternal. every soul is related to the SuperSoul. every soul is on it’s own journey of discovery.
it’s possible for any two souls to be soulmates under the right circumstances.
the problem is that our spiritual souls are covered by temporary material bodies full of ego and the desire to enjoy our senses. in fact, if reincarnation is a fact; it’s possible that i have been your mother, brother, sister, father, daughter, son and lover. i may have been your pet, you may have been mine. it’s also possible that me and you, Vic, and you, dear Reader, have been soul mates in a previous life, or maybe in our future lives.
it’s possible that i’ve lived lives without meeting a soulmate.
5. On Self-Love. Do you think that to be loved by others you have to love yourself? What does self-love mean to you? To love, can it sometimes mean letting go?
A. it probably helps to love or respect yourself first, as the saying goes; always smile in public, you never know who might fall in love with your smile, nobody falls in love with a frown.
true love includes the ability to let go, which is a rare thing. not sure if i’ve ever seen it away from parents letting their children become adults.
i met a woman who never smiles, she seemed broken, so i set her up with a like minded man and they both smile now 🙂 neither ever respected themselves until they met and realised the bigger picture.
6. On Fulfilment. Can we only find fulfilment in others, or is it possible to be happy and find contentment in our other accomplishments, whatever our relationship status?
A. it’s possible to find contentment in other accomplishments.
we all have our own paths to view and choose, i call this The Damascus Blues.
but i’ve noticed that at least with my brain and ego, it’s harder to think straight whilst in the grip of love.
7. On Interpersonal Skills. Are people in relationships simply better at ‘people skills’ than those who are not?
A. perhaps. but even those that are in a relationship may harbour difficulties with expression. for instance i find it easier to write my thoughts than say them, there’s time for deliberation 🙂 (but also confusion somehow)
i have a great relationship with those that are a part of my life and yet even still i may have my quiet moments where i find it hard to express my self.
8. On Project R. Do you think this a worthwhile project? In what way, if at all, did this project help you think through the question of “relationships”? Feel free to add here any other thoughts you may have on the subject that was not covered by the above questions.
A. this is definitely a worthwhile project!
we met due to a project by OpiniatedMan, which i didn’t take part in, though i admired the project i wasn’t ready to create a structured blog and truth be told, i’m still not. that’s why this is late. in the end my apathy was beaten by your thoughtful questions that i’ve struggled to answer truthfully.
This has been a great excercise for me although i’ve deleted lots of thoughts (i digress easily) they’ve taught me of myself; so thoroughly worthwhile!! 😀