Tag Archives: jesus

An Old Saying, by Anon

“Jesus loves you…

…Everyone else thinks you’re an arsehole”

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31. The original was bastardised before it was broadcast

It was a coupla thousand years ago
When a white man Jesus came on the show
Trying to educate people and put them in the know
Preaching to the masses, teachin bout the fascists
& keeping daily classes, ‘cept for Sundays
‘Cause that woulda been blasphemous.
But that guy was cantankerous.
Outside the church doors, chuckin’ over market stalls
Stopping the traders from making their calls.
He turned his life into one long mission until
The other preachers started wishing that
Overnight he would go missing .
But try not to forget this is only small fiction.
The High Priests were discreet, they knew he would meet
With his like minded clan, so they formed a plan to oust the man.
They spoke with Judas & gave him the Midas touch
“Do as we say and we won’t hurt you that much.
All we want is your man Jesus,
He chats too much shit, just believe us.”
Jesus was wise for he knew the guy.
So he turned fish into bread and piss blood into wine.
“Eat and drink of me, for on the morrow i die.” He said
Eating the bread and
Sure enough
The next day he was dead.